fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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