it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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