Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
