I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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