How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
