I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
