This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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