You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Drunk is not a location!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
