omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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