he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
