So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
