i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
