if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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