i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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