it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
