I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
