I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
