I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
