I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
