Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Someone came in the potted fern
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
