You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
