So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
