So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
