I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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