so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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