there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
