Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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