a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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