I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
