What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
