8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
