I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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