she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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