im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize