You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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