you didnt know i had herpes?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
