..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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