any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just want to make out with him forever
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
