Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize