got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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