If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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