meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
