i just google imaged poop.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize