If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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