did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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