if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
