My room smells like vodka and shame
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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