I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
