Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
