shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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