dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
