i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
