At least make sure they are 18
Why
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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