In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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