Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
