I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
