I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
