I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
