OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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